At MOPs the other morning, we talked about being brave and going first when it comes to building friendships. I was in charge of writing the blog, so I thought I would share it here as well.
I don’t know about you gals, but I truly enjoyed this morning! Like a lot! The casual atmosphere in the room, the laughter, activities and blessed flow of coffee! There are not many MOPs mornings were you get the chance to chat with ladies from all over the room (and walks of life) so this morning was refreshing!
Racquel, our fearless leader, full of grace and humility showed true courage by stepping on stage and sharing her heart and struggles with making friends. Thank you Mama for going first!
Now, don’t take this the wrong way, but women can be mean. Then you throw being a fierce mama bear in the ring and the mud can fly! Women have always been bombarded with contradicting messages and agendas; how we should raise our kids, maintain our homes, what we should wear, how our body should look, to vaccinate or not to vaccinate, even down to how our life “in the bedroom” should look. It’s exhausting and discouraging and then we finally think we have it figured out and we think we have to find other moms with exactly the same way of life to make friendships.
Makes you want to crawl into a closet somewhere.
But don’t be discouraged, BE BRAVE! GO FIRST!
Be first, to look at your life and be okay with how you are doing, because Mama, you are KILLIN’ IT! Then turn to the mom next to you and give her a pat on the back, because guess what….She’s KILLIN’ it to! You both may be on completely opposite sides of the motherhood spectrum and could very easily be disagreeing on everything there is to argue about, but instead you can let it go and watch an awesome friendship flourish!
I have this awesomely awkward ability to strike up a conversation usually with anyone who comes within 10 feet of me. Sitting at the DMV, I’ve had some hysterical conversations with persons of wild character and we pleasantly passed the time in bored comradery. That old lady in the grocery store watching my kid throw her shoe across the aisle always has the best advice. And yes, I see you super award teen boy with your headphones on in line at Taco Bell, we gunna talk and you ARE going to respond. Awkward meet awkward. Are my conversations always met well? Nope, but that’s okay because I was brave and went first!
Now, striking up conversations with strangers through out your day may not be your thing. And that’s okay! But, maybe there are things that you could share with those friends and acquaintances in your circle that maybe are difficult to share, but would beautifully deepen your relationships. When you step out in faith, knowing that yes, you could get burned, you are being courageous! You are taking a chance, and dear friend, the God who knows every hair on your head, knows your every fear but also exactly what you need.
There are a couple very precious women in my life, who if I hadn’t taken the chance on them and went first, our friendship wouldn’t have left that moment and I would be out a couple very dear friendships.
Thinking about going first and being brave and making friends reminded me of a blog I wrote 4 years ago where I laid out a bunch of mom confessions in name of being authentic and “Going First,” and the list really hasn’t changed 🤦♀️😝😳 So I thought it beared repeating.
“I’ve read a lot of blog posts, Facebook comments and heard many fellow moms talk recently about the desire, no, the DESPERATE NEED to connect and be real with other moms who are in the same boat as themselves. I strongly agree! It’s hard enough keeping our tired unwashed heads above water without feeling like we should be walking on it to! That’s Christ’s job.
So, I thought I’d “keep it real” by posting some good old fashion mommy confessions…
1. I rarely, if ever give my children vitamins
2. Instead of gathering and drying everyone off, I’ve peed in a pool
3. My boys have had frozen chicken nuggets 3 meals in a row
4. There are days I don’t brush my teeth…Coffee & gum works wonders
5. While potting training, instead of washing the poo filled undies, I throw them out
6. I have left Target on more than one occasion and have no idea how much I spent.
7. I have continued scrolling Facebook even as my boys are beating the tar out of each other.
8. I’ve never made my own baby food
9. Goldfish crackers and chocolate granola bars make great dinners
10. I’ve spanked out of anger
11. I didn’t say anything as my child continually licked water off the park playground
12. I nap. A lot.
13. One vaginal birth was enough for me. I loved my C-section, and I haven’t heard any complaints from either child.
14. I’ve be very prideful when I win the “my baby weighed this much” battle
15. I’ve probably forgotten your birthday
16. While running errands I think bribery in the form of candy or Hotwheels is totally acceptable
17. I’ve passed gas and blamed it on my son
18. We watch a lot of TV
19. While cuddling with my boys, everything else can wait (even the forgotten boiling pot of pasta)
20. I have played the Mommy Battle game, both winning and loosing and I am truly sorry
Here’s to ending the battles and instead lending a helping hand, a fresh cup of strong coffee and a friendly compassionate and GENUINE smile to your fellow Mommy whose just trying to make sure her kids turn out “ok” too.”
SO, confessed I have. Now it’s your turn to GO FIRST and step out in the name of friendship! Let a little bit of your wall down, share a bit of awkwardness and watch a friendship grow!
You won’t regret it!
Love you, dear Mamas!